Since I started doing Dr. Joe’s work I have become aware that now I sometimes catch myself reaching for a past memory – no, reaching for a past gut experience, a bad, unhappy, miserable, worry-some feeling. But feelings are created by our thoughts, so my body is pushing me to search my memory for a sad or worrying past event.
It’s as if some part of me needs that feeling…there is something telling me I must remember those events that triggered these negative emotions, telling me I can’t afford to forget them.
From what I understand of the work – this means I am making progress and my body is throwing up this anxiety response as I begin to relax. My body is more used to the stress response being activated most hours of the day. It is used to the constant flow of adrenaline and cortisol.
Now that I am meditating and relaxing, my body is missing the cortisol and adrenalin hormones that stress and anxiety trigger, and it is pushing me to re-activate the production of these chemicals. By recognising this and refusing to remember those old worrysome thoughts I am winning the battle – the chemicals are kept at bay and in time it will get easier. Catching myself reaching for the “worry thought” is real progress. Finding a happy thought is making even more progress.
Last night I read where Joe writes about creating “worst scenarios” . I started doing that about 3 years ago. I thought then that if I dipped into a worst scenario and realised I could emotionally survive it that it would help me cope with the pain I was feeling. Well, I suppose it did – unfortunately, my worst scenario did materialise. The good news is I did survive it. Now, I can see how easy it is to materialise stuff and events – but why, oh why do I slip so easily into the bad daydreams instead of the good ones? I guess the answer is also “habit”.