Tag Archives: create your own reality

Why I Deleted 450+ Facebook Friends

I deleted over 450 “friends” on Facebook last night before going to sleep.  My fingers were moving so fast I even deleted a couple unintentionally…anyway…

Who Did I Delete from My Facebook Friends List?

I unfriended anyone

  • whose face I couldn’t remember which means long time no contact
  • I have not had a message from in a long, long time, if ever
  • has not liked, shared or commented on a post of mine either in a long time or maybe never
  • that I don’t remember seeing a post from in my stream ever or for long time
  • who has no posts on their profile page apart from changing their profile photo every  so often

Why Did I Unfriend so many from my Facebook Friend list?

I could not take their SILENCE anymore.  I didn’t know if they were active, not active, looking at my stuffm hating it and staying silent, judging me.

Actually I did delete some others for questioning my mental state.  Disagreement on a subject I can take but to get THAT question from people who KNOW me?  No!

NOTE:  I did NOT delete friends for disagreeing with me on any subject.

I have read articles about how people’s reactions to us on social media affects us and I have been watching my own reactions.  When I do a spate of writing as I have over the last two weeks I noticed myself checking for reactions to my writing.  I loved the likes.  I like the comments and generally give an emoji in recognition for their comment if I have nothing more to add or I leave an answering comment.

But the thing I began to notice most was the feeling of rejection and emptiness at the huge number of people who left me no reaction whatsoever.  I began to feel like there was an army of people out there watching me, silently, like a stalker would.  That was neither nice nor healthy for me.  This is not reality – this is projection.  This means that unseen “friends” can control my feelings.  NOT HEALTHY.

I like writing and every morning when I come return home, where I am confined, and sit at my laptop.  My morning cycle usually generates a subject to write about before I get home, and I write from the heart, usually without corrections as it just pours out.

Social Media?  I got into it for business purposes – after coronavirus I intend to cut WAY back on it’s use and get an ordinary phone – for phone calls – if there is such a thing anymore.  I will divest myself of the spy in my pocket – my laptop will be my Elf on the Shelf – that’s it.

Other Pruning I did on Facebook

My deletions were not the end of my actions on facebook.  I also went through the many great groups I am joined there.  I didn’t leave them, but I did turn off notifications from all of them,  Now, for example if I am doing a few hours on my family tree I can go and check out what has happened in my genealogy groups since my last visit.  And it saves me time scrolling past loads of  genealogy related posts in a time when I am not in a position to use that info anyway.

Final thought – “following” and “followers” on any social media

FOLLOWERS:  The trend out there is to think that having thousands or millions of followers is great, amazing, wonderful, a kind of signal to the world how loved or important you are.  Well, unless you are some famous celebrity, it’s probably not.  If you are not getting feedback from your followers then, to me, they are just silent stalkers.  And if, like me, you feel let down by their lack of response, it’s not mentally or emotionally healthy.

However, I think of followers on Instagram differently to followers on facebook simply because of the content people put on Instagram.  But the term used on Facebook is “friend” and friends don’t leave you hanging on a limb when you say something.  Contacts on Linkedin are just that – a network of business contacts you may or may not interact with, but that depends on their business, your business and non-reaction there is different.  We acknowledge a difference of industries, interests and how busy everyone is.

FOLLOWING:  If you are following more than 200 people on Instagram or Twitter – you can’t read everything that is posted in a day and if you do, then you are not living a life, you are living other people’s lives who may or may not be living the life they say they are.  What a waste of a life!  Pruning who I follow on Instagram and Twitter is my next time saving and mental health preservation activity – soon as I get the time 🙂

Who Do I Want to “Friend” on my personal Facebook profile?

  • Everyone who did not get deleted last night hahaha!
  • Family and neighbors
  • real friends, old and new that I personally know
  • there are some people I have not personally met but have had good conversations with either on messenger or outside of facebook.

If you are one of the real friends I unfriend last night with my fast finger action!!! and want to re-establish the connection send me friend request.

To My Friends Who Request Actions and I Don’t Oblige

For several reasons I never respond to any of the following

  • requests to post or copy/paste content to prove I read your post that did not have picture
  • request for any type of chain reaction similar to the above
  • posts requesting copy and paste to prove I am your friend or sympathise/empathize with those who have cancer etc.  If you ask me to copy and paste a post which focuses on recover, health, well-being I MIGHT copy and paste it because that is the opposite end of the usual focus on disease.
  • mostly I don’t comment on, share or respond to posts you make that are negative, fear engendering, rabble rousing or advocating action on behalf of the latest social or popular trend.

Why I Delete Some Comments on my Facebook Posts

I tend to delete your comments on my posts that set one section of society against another, and comments where the writer is in direct opposition to what I wrote AND is giving me an argument in their defense which I most likely am already well aware of.  I try for the most part to refrain from negative commentary on current events etc UNLESS I absolutely feel I have to and I have a solution to offer. I don’t allow fighting on my personal page.  My page is for my opinion.  If you agree, great – we have something in common.  If you don’t agree, go write on your own page and I won’t comment there.

In Conclusion – Be Aware of What Your Posts Say about You

We are all different biological ages, at different stages of awareness, learning, education and mental capabilities.  Recognize this when you decide to take someone up on their posts on their pages.  Recognize everyone has the right to have their own current opinion.  If you can’t change a person’s ideology with peaceful logic you are only going to entrench them by using anger, aggression, contempt or ridicule in your words.

What we say on social media says more than we are aware of.  We may be speaking up for a very good cause.  At the moment there is a HUGE outpouring from the white community on the issue of black lives matter.  BUT most are completely unaware of what can also be read into what they are posting, especially when it is followed up with support for pulling down statues, banning books and now we are checking images and labels on food.

Psychologists and public manipulators and profilers are having a field day with what people are revealing about themselves here.  A whole lot of shadow stuff and mirroring going on there.  Fascinating to watch but uncomfortably revealing and what it reveals most of all is … deep rooted fear and insecurity.

This should not be a black lives matter movement.  It should be people against police brutality movement which is what the sparking incident in this current situation was.   Sane, intelligent people are losing their reason at the moment.  Too much is going on around and fear is being expressed in actions of anger.  We feel it is ok to be angry for a “good or just cause”.  Well, if there is too much of that fear being transmuted into public anger… our neighborhoods and communities will go up in flames.  Fanning these flames from what is perceived to be a safe distance via social media is an illusion.

That’s it – rant over!  Have a nice day.

Covid-19 A lesson from the Universe on the Nature of Reality

If there is one thing I am learning from COVID19 – it’s about reality.

Many different opinions on COVID-19

Scientists, experts, doctors – everyone is presenting theories, solutions, explanations and then, of course, there are those who test positive, negative or even positive/negative.  Faulty tests kits are blamed. And then there is arising the question “Are some people lying to us?”

Yet another explanation?

Perhaps there is another explanation.  We have long known IN SCIENCE that expectations of the experimenters and the watchers influence the results of the scientific experiments themselves.

Anyway, here’s the thing – EVERYONE is experiencing or not experiencing COVID19 through THEIR OWN personal lens of perception.  And perception is based on what?  Learning, inherited belief systems, personal belief systems and life experiences. 

Is the Universe telling us there is no ONE 3D reality?  Just a series of dramas we choose to buy into or not?  I think so.   How else to explain all the different opinions?  However, we do hold certain beliefs in common.  Beliefs we all agree on.  In the midst of coronavirus we are dividing into different camps of beliefs.  So the numbers of individuals holding the same belief becomes a “collective and the manifestation of that belief becomes stronger – more 3D realistic.

On that note – decide if you want to hold the belief we will all get out of this together into a brave, new, beautiful world – or the belief that we are all doomed to slavery.  Or could you hold the belief that we are in deep shit now but on our way out and into a beautiful new world?

The great thing is – we get to choose the dramas we want to participate in and we get to choose the roles we play – the winner or the loser? the victim, the victor.  We choose to experience the success, the loss, the abundance, the poverty.  We get to play the healthy one, the sick one, the one who gets everything easy, the one who has to struggle. 

WE get to choose which COVID-19 drama we want to be in.

This idea may well annoy you if you are playing one of the less desired roles…GOOD.

I intend no disrespect or judgement on anyone’s experience of COVID-19 by writing this – please read my next post Judgement is a Killer

Have a serious think about this theory and choose a new drama, choose your new role.  How do you do that?  First become aware that everything in your life you have chosen – with your habitual thoughts. 

Everything in your life is just a REFLECTION of your thoughts, a manifestation of your habitual thinking.

Now that your are aware, watch your thoughts, catch the unhappy ones that are responsible for where you are in life.  The just dream about a different life or a different situation (like when you were a kid and you daydreamed of your great future. Then, talk and think more about what you want and how you want it to play out.

You might have to put the iphone away for several hours a day and definitely don’t use it before going to sleep, for this to work faster.

We are creating by default in every moment

Actually, we are all doing by default anyway.    Something happens – it can be good or bad, we have emotional reactions and then our train of thought starts and continues along the one line.

NOTE – even though I say we are creating by our thoughts – it is not quite that easy/bad.  Just having a thought by itself does not mean you can create it.

The creation happens ONLY when the thought generates an emotion

Thought sends the picture out into the Universe

Emotion draws the event to you

Unfortunately, some of us, through no INITIAL fault of our own, have bad experiences that tend to make us think we are losers.  But it doesn’t have to stay that way,  Just by reading the right book, watching the right film or maybe even reading a post like this, we can choose to take a minute to ponder “could this possible be true?  If we allow the slightest possibility that we create our own dramas then that is the first step towards choosing different dramas to buy into and changing our lives.

For years I went from crisis to crisis until one day I found myself having an imaginary conversation (argument) with someone.  In the conversation I said, with quite a bit of anger and resentment “well, if there’s one thing I am – I’m a survivor!”  And it hit me like a bolt of lightening – awareness.   My train of thought rapidly went from

“I’m a survivor!”  (statement) to “I’m a survivor?” (question) then

“You mean I’ve been creating all this shit just to prove I’m a survivor?!”  F***!  to

“Right! so now that I KNOW I’m a survivor, I don’t need to go on creating these dramas!” to

“Done!  Finished!  No More!  Finito!  Peace!”

Life got a lot better for me from there on.

Watch your thoughts, notice the feelings, the emotions the thoughts bring up – now, wait for some version or aspect of your thoughts to become your reality.  It has to be.  It’s one of the Universal Laws.

Keep doing the work!

5 days ago I wrote I was beginning the Joe Dispenza work again – and I did.  I found it much more difficult to control my thoughts, steady my mind than I did when I was new to this.

First time round (Nov 2018)  I achieved great results very quickly and WANTED to sit to do the meditations – it was amazing.  A few weeks into it I became conscious that the smart thing to so was really concentrate on making each meditation a good one.  What was the point in doing 100 half hearted meditations to achieve the same results as 50 great ones in a faster time?  So I really got into it.  I wanted to be a Master!!!

I guess that was what you would call the honeymoon period.  Second time around it is more difficult to control my thoughts and steady myself into the meditation.   It’s taken me 5 days.

My motivation this morning was the fact that I found something on the outside of my left eye last night, my energy level was really low,  I had heart palpitations and hot flushes.  I began to think “I really need to get to grips with this work – otherwise I’m not far from kicking the bucket!”  In short I was really stressed out and got little sleep.

This morning I did half a meditation before I was interrupted – but “half a loaf is still better than no loaf at all to a starving man!”  The morning went a bit smoother for me.  Guests were arriving today and I needed to be in better health and humour.  I had a shower and then set my intention to get enough time to do the full meditation without interruption.  I did!  With only two minutes to spare!  And it was a good one.

That was 3 hours ago .  Now all is flowing nicely.  I’m off to get another meditation under my belt!

Moral of this post?  A reminder for me not to lapse again.   For the last few weeks I have been pushing myself to get emails answered, arrange tours and get on top of the paperwork.  Promising myself the time for meditation after.  Obviously that didn’t work as I was just too tired at the end of every day and there was never enough time.

Now I KNOW the only way to get on top of life and my everyday chores is to MAKE the time for the meditation FIRST and then everything else that needs to be done WILL get done.

If you are going to start the Dr. Joe work – take my advice.   Give it 100% and do the meditation even if it is only one, every morning before getting out of bed even.  I wish I hadn’t wasted all that time and energy by stopping.  Lesson learned!