Tag Archives: shit happens

Shit Happens – what to do

“Everything, without exception, that happens me is for my good”  is a belief I have been cultivating since about 2000 when I first read Louise Hay’s book “You Can Heal Your Life”.

Usually it is when I am experiencing a set-back, disappointment or an apparent disaster that I work on making this belief stronger.  It means that when disaster or disappointment strikes I try to remember that since absolutely everything is for my good, my ultimate and highest good, it will serve me better to accept instead of resent the situation.

This is not easy as of course, I have emotions and all the natural reactions any person has.  But I try to switch my focus, not talk about it and find something else to occupy my mind – in those situations I play a LOT of Su Doku!

When shit happens I now practice:

  1. Remind myself “I did this, I created this!”
  2. Remind myself “And I can bloody well fix it!”
  3. Not lose my head too much in the moment, not go into a spiral of blame, resentment, anger, depression or frustration
  4. Not lash out in anger at my nearest and dearest
  5. Remind myself to keep a look out now for the benefit from this shitty thing that just happened.
  6. Watch CAREFULLY for something great that is happening BECAUSE of the shitty thing.  It will be something that could not have happened WITHOUT the shitty thing.
  7. Remind myself of all the times this has happened me before.  All the times good came from bad.  Keep watching out for the miracle regardless of time – it might not be today it happens.
  8. But it will happen – IF I am watching out for and expecting it.  IF I switch my focus from the shitty thing to the expected happy surprise now that there is nothing to be done about the shit.

If you want to try this just take some time to sit down with a pen and paper.  Look back over your life and find happy events that you now know would not have happened only for some connected disaster having happened you some time before.

By the way, sometimes it might be only a few hours between the disappointment and the miracle – but sometimes it can be weeks, months and even years – but there is always a connection, you just have to look hard enough to find it.

PERSONAL EXAMPLE – A recent and quite substantial miracle for me and my son, Stephen.  It began with the apparent disaster and disappointment when we were all set to buy a beautiful old building in Cairo – perfect for a boutique hotel.

Everything seemed right about it.  The building was beautiful outside and needed just a little love and care to make it shine again.  The location was perfect.  The price was right  The timing SEEMED right and we had other investors.

Then the week before we were to close the sale, one of our investors had to pull out due to the Irish economic worsening situation.  It was a BIG disappointment.  HOWEVER, 6 months later, it was 25 Jan 2011 and Egypt was at the beginning of a long and debilitating revolution – which was about to wipe out  the Egyptian tourism industry.  THERE was our miracle, there was our silver lining.

Had we completed the sale, by the time the revolution hit we would have spent most of the money needed and had a unique but completely empty boutique hotel.

Where Am I Today – 2013 Oct 20?

The ongoing situation in Egypt has had me in an up and down, up and down financial position since 2011.  Until early 2013 when, to a greater extent, the tourism industry flat-lined completely.  Keeping my balance has not been easy.

My worst moments have been those when I struggled against the situation; those days and nights when I sat dreaming up ways to encourage tourists back, dreaming of bringing the kind of community schemes to Egypt that helped us progress in Ireland during economic difficulties.  The frustration in the knowing there was no reason for us not having tourists; – reality that can be seen with hindsight.  Luxor has been uneventful apart from an odd incident here and there, but no tourists ever involved – apart from the balloon crash and that could happen anywhere.

But for every night of despair and every disappointment I can point to an awakening, a realization.  I have progressed enormously towards happiness and understanding that I create my own reality, regardless of circumstances around me.

I have discovered and polished up more than one hidden talent.  So while I am still waiting for the financial recovery and miracle, at least once a day I raise my eyes to heaven and say “Come on God – where is it?  It’s been a while now and I’m ready, very ready for my ‘only for the revolution miracle’!  That is not a cry of despair – that is me letting God/Universe know I am ready and looking for signs to encourage my belief.

To end my story for today – let me just say that over the last 6 days I have thanked God/Universe daily for closing some doors for me.

Let’s just say I know now I have been saved from the jaws of hell and my feet are set firmly on a better path – with a better attitude and renewed faith that absolutely every single thing that happens is for my ultimate good!

When shit happens – keep your head and be on the look out for the resulting miracle, the silver lining that would now be, without the shit that flew my way.

Being me – how are you?

I think what stops many people from moving forward, moving upwards or moving outwards from the lives and routines they are used to is the nagging thought of inadequacy that stalk us.  As a foreigner living in Egypt for over 10 years I have not been immune to the energy of fear under the Mubarak era for many people.

I will say that until I started the process of applying for a license for my restaurant I was less aware of it.  In applying for a license I came under the scrutiny of not only government officials but also the police state of the time.  Apparently it also took Interpol 3 months to check me out and I also had to have TWO aids tests!

Being a foreigner with a rebellious streak it was difficult for me.  When I started the licensing process, I fought back.  In fact the first thing I did was throw the first posse of inspectors – about 4 -5 persons I think it was, out of the house in the middle of their inspection!  In my alien mind government officials had a job to do and they should bloody well do it without making my life a misery.

Suffice it to say for the moment that over the next two and a half years I became more or less a nervous wreck.  I dreaded the doorbell ringing and if I saw a police car in the street I went into total panic.

Those Ministry for Tourism officials that I threw out?  I eventually had to go back to them and spend half an hour apologising, excusing myself and grovelling so they would re-instate my application.  I should also say that before I started the restaurant project I ascertained through a “friend” that I would have absolutely no problem with getting my bar and restaurant license.  It would cost me some money but really, really I would have no problem!  Many, many times I wished there was some way I could make that guy eat his words physically in the form of something horrible!

I have gone off the subject.  Many of us don’t reach our full potential because of the little doubting voices in our heads.  I have had them for years.  People keep telling me I should write a book because I have such a lot of stories which I share with my guests and friends.

What keeps me from doing it?  Probably the voice that challenges me with questions like “who do you think you are?”  How many times did we hear that when we were young?  A challenge designed to demolish!

“What do you know about anything?” is another one.  In my case the worst and strongest voices were the ones that told me “You never win!  You always stick your neck out!  You always end up getting your head cut off!  You’re a radical!  You’ll never succeed!  You’ll be on your own!  Nobody will support you! ”  Recognise any of those voices?

2013 Aug 7 and like everyone else in the tourism industry in Egypt I am ground down, worn out, fucking angry and resentful!  Yes, I did just use the F word.  It is not a word I commonly use, having brought up to behave like a lady 🙁 that included 5 years in a convent boarding school – ugh!  As a business person there is a certain image I should portray – or so I am told.  To hell with that!

Who am I most angry at?  The media who wouldn’t know how to just report the facts even if the facts jumped up and bit them in the face!

Now, I have had my little melt down and rant.  I have to tell you that while I’ve known the theories of Law of Attraction for years, I am really only practicing how to use them as I gain understanding of it and, thankfully, the more I learn the easier it gets. Theory and talking theory only takes you so far – and that’s not very far either.

You have to PRACTICE and the best time to practice, in fact the only time you can practice and change a habit is at the start or in the middle of the reaction to the event.  The good news… the more you practice, the earlier you catch yourself, the earlier you change the vibe around the situation.

But it’s a daily thing, shit happens and it triggers us – like me just before I started writing this.  When the bad stuff triggers us, that’s when we know how much practice we’ve put in!

The big thing I know is – I DID THIS!  I created and attracted all those bad feeling experiences automatically, and without even really KNOWING how I was the responsible one – not all those people I am blaming in my rant.  I created that unpleasant reality myself by default.  I started each creation by having a bad reaction to a small event – but each small event lead to a bigger one – then comes the explosion!

I created all this unhappy stuff and I can come out of it.

The trick is to have the melt down as quickly and as short as possible.  Writing helps me clear my mind.  Have your melt down- then move to the solution.  I’m heading off to work on the solution now 🙂  All is well.

Shit Happened (Literally!) – what did i do?

4 a.m. I fly into Cairo, hop in a taxi and 30 mins. later I’m letting myself into my apt. – “Home at last, cup of choc and I’m off to bed!” says I to myself……..well, uh…nooo!  What is that smell?  I drop my bags and follow my nose……”WTF?!”

Before my astonished eyes – my parquet floor down the entire length of the corridor is a topsy-turvey, higgledy-piggledy mess, 2 – 3 inches off the floor.  Being used to Irish winters, my first thought was “Burst Pipes!”  Wait, no, can’t be – this is Egypt, no pipes under my floor…..look upwards, no water on the ceiling.  I get to the bathroom door and see the floor is covered in mud.  How? From where?  What the????

First photo below is the hall and corridor before the toilet eruption – parquet was unusable again so we had to tile it.  In the second photo, the “bibet” is the small, square, shiny metal object in front of the shower.  That is where the “eruption” happened.  Unbelieveable that such a small opening could spew up enough dirt and water to cover the entire floor and the adjoining corridor!

It took me a few minutes to understand that the bibet (hole in the bathroom floor where the water goes down) had somehow erupted, spewing water everywhere.  Forget going to bed! I get out the hose, mop and bucket and automatically started cleaning.

At 6am I find the caretaker, call the plumber and so begins a saga that lasts until mid-day as the investigation proceeds – the end of the story?  It wasn’t my fault apparently, nothing at all to do with me, apart from destroying my floor.  Old pipes outside the building…never mind, I doubt I can explain it properly.

Is the problem fixed?  Will it happen again?  Who knows?  You see – this is Egypt and even the bibets are in revolt!  Thank God it wasn’t the toilet!!!!  Don’t laugh – that can erupt also!

Moral of the story?  Don’t sit on the toilet too long in Egypt….remember Mel Gibson and (was it Danny Glover?) in what was the name of that movie?  Lethal Weapon?

I found out a few things today.  What was the worst part of the day?  Was it the mess? the shock? the expense of replacing the entire floor?  No, it was the hours of frustration trying to communicate with 4 Egyptian men.  They were all experts, of course.  Trying to communicate that whatever about the problem inside my apt. there was no way I was paying for whatever it was that caused the problem outside – actually it was worse than that.

I could see what and where the problem was, but they were so busy trying to ensure I took ownership of the entire problem they refused to really listen and try to see the cause of the problem.  After all they were men, weren’t they?  This was their domain and what the hell would a woman know anything about it?  So that was the first thing I discovered – the frustrated communication was what got to me the most.  BUT, if I were not imbued with self-doubt and certainly, giving off a vibe of uncertainty, which they naturally and automatically interpreted – would my communications with them have been easier?  I’m sure it would.

What else did I find out?  I discovered that something had shifted in my consciousness.  In the midst of the arguments about fixing the situation and who was responsible, I realised I was actually extremely upset, a bit shocked, extremely tired, and about to burst into tears.  I did shed a few before I could stop them.  I always wonder why I can’t look as good as Demi Moore in “Ghost” – I look nothing like that when the tears are streaming down my face!

Wiping away the sweat (35 degrees here today) and the tears, I suddenly stopped short.  I don’t know where it came from – but across my mind rushed the thoughts “What the hell is wrong with you?  Look at the state of you over some water, timber and bit of work!  Who cares?  What other troubles have you?  If that is the worst you have to worry about – then you are one luck B*****”.

As if suddenly struck by lightening, I felt so lucky!  I thought of my family – all fine TG!  What else is important?  Who cares about the rest of it?  I am thankful, really, I am for that erupted bibet for bringing me that appreciation.

Comparing myself to others in order to make myself feel good never worked for me.  You know like when your parents told you how lucky you were to have that dinner that you didn’t want to eat, while others were starving?  My inward response was usually “well, you send it to them!  I don’t want it!”

It’s the same thing, in a way, but worlds apart in the feeling of it.  For anyone who can understand what I mean by that.  I’ve been teaching my grand-daughter to practice waiting when something crappy happens, if you can, and look for the “silver lining” but this is probably the first time I’ve been aware of a wonderful positive feeling of SATISFACTION right in the middle of a crappy situation. I guess practice makes perfect.

I have a lot to be satisfied with and that is where my focus should be, not on one silly event which will be sorted in a couple of days!

Two other things…

  1. I have to admit being vibrationally responsible for this mishap – I created this – and I am not going to back to dig out exactly where it started.  It’s enough for me to know it.
  2. It could have been worse – I could have been sitting on the toilet or in the shower when it happened LOL!

No, I am quite sure I haven’t turned into PollyAnna YET …. but I am thankful for the feeling of her today!  It’s now 8pm and I’m having that cuppa choc and getting to bed!  YEAH!