I think what stops many people from moving forward, moving upwards or moving outwards from the lives and routines they are used to is the nagging thought of inadequacy that stalk us. As a foreigner living in Egypt for over 10 years I have not been immune to the energy of fear under the Mubarak era for many people.
I will say that until I started the process of applying for a license for my restaurant I was less aware of it. In applying for a license I came under the scrutiny of not only government officials but also the police state of the time. Apparently it also took Interpol 3 months to check me out and I also had to have TWO aids tests!
Being a foreigner with a rebellious streak it was difficult for me. When I started the licensing process, I fought back. In fact the first thing I did was throw the first posse of inspectors – about 4 -5 persons I think it was, out of the house in the middle of their inspection! In my alien mind government officials had a job to do and they should bloody well do it without making my life a misery.
Suffice it to say for the moment that over the next two and a half years I became more or less a nervous wreck. I dreaded the doorbell ringing and if I saw a police car in the street I went into total panic.
Those Ministry for Tourism officials that I threw out? I eventually had to go back to them and spend half an hour apologising, excusing myself and grovelling so they would re-instate my application. I should also say that before I started the restaurant project I ascertained through a “friend” that I would have absolutely no problem with getting my bar and restaurant license. It would cost me some money but really, really I would have no problem! Many, many times I wished there was some way I could make that guy eat his words physically in the form of something horrible!
I have gone off the subject. Many of us don’t reach our full potential because of the little doubting voices in our heads. I have had them for years. People keep telling me I should write a book because I have such a lot of stories which I share with my guests and friends.
What keeps me from doing it? Probably the voice that challenges me with questions like “who do you think you are?” How many times did we hear that when we were young? A challenge designed to demolish!
“What do you know about anything?” is another one. In my case the worst and strongest voices were the ones that told me “You never win! You always stick your neck out! You always end up getting your head cut off! You’re a radical! You’ll never succeed! You’ll be on your own! Nobody will support you! ” Recognise any of those voices?
2013 Aug 7 and like everyone else in the tourism industry in Egypt I am ground down, worn out, fucking angry and resentful! Yes, I did just use the F word. It is not a word I commonly use, having brought up to behave like a lady 🙁 that included 5 years in a convent boarding school – ugh! As a business person there is a certain image I should portray – or so I am told. To hell with that!
Who am I most angry at? The media who wouldn’t know how to just report the facts even if the facts jumped up and bit them in the face!
Now, I have had my little melt down and rant. I have to tell you that while I’ve known the theories of Law of Attraction for years, I am really only practicing how to use them as I gain understanding of it and, thankfully, the more I learn the easier it gets. Theory and talking theory only takes you so far – and that’s not very far either.
You have to PRACTICE and the best time to practice, in fact the only time you can practice and change a habit is at the start or in the middle of the reaction to the event. The good news… the more you practice, the earlier you catch yourself, the earlier you change the vibe around the situation.
But it’s a daily thing, shit happens and it triggers us – like me just before I started writing this. When the bad stuff triggers us, that’s when we know how much practice we’ve put in!
The big thing I know is – I DID THIS! I created and attracted all those bad feeling experiences automatically, and without even really KNOWING how I was the responsible one – not all those people I am blaming in my rant. I created that unpleasant reality myself by default. I started each creation by having a bad reaction to a small event – but each small event lead to a bigger one – then comes the explosion!
I created all this unhappy stuff and I can come out of it.
The trick is to have the melt down as quickly and as short as possible. Writing helps me clear my mind. Have your melt down- then move to the solution. I’m heading off to work on the solution now 🙂 All is well.