Why I Deleted 200+ Facebook Friends

I deleted over 200 “friends” on Facebook last night before going to sleep.  My fingers were moving so fast I even deleted a couple unintentionally…anyway…

Who Did I Delete from My Facebook Friends List?

I unfriended anyone

  • whose face I couldn’t remember which means long time no contact
  • I have not had a message from in a long, long time, if ever
  • has not liked, shared or commented on a post of mine either in a long time or maybe never
  • that I don’t remember seeing a post from in my stream ever or for long time
  • who has no posts on their profile page apart from changing their profile photo every  so often

Why Did I Unfriend so many from my Facebook Friend list?

My facebook MARA HOUSE LUXOR page tells me who reacts to something I share or comment on.  It doesn’t tell me how many have read my posts and then just scrolled on.

On the other hand my Mara House Page tells exactly how many people have seen my post and what action they took.  It tells me if they

  • liked my post or any other emoji
  • clicked the button to unlike my page, un-follow or hide my post
  • clicked on  the link to whatever I am writing about to read it in full
  • left a comment

NOTE:  I did NOT delete friends for disagreeing with me on any subject.

I have read articles about how people’s reactions to us on social media affects us and I have been watching my own reactions.  When I do a spate of writing as I have over the last two weeks I noticed myself checking for reactions to my writing.  I loved the likes.  I like the comments and generally give an emoji in recognition for their comment if I have nothing more to add or I leave an answering comment.

But the thing I began to notice most was the feeling of rejection and emptiness at the huge number of people who left me no reaction whatsoever.  I began to feel like there was an army of people out there watching me, silently, like a stalker would.  That was neither nice nor healthy for me.  This is not reality – this is projection.  This means that unseen “friends” can control my feelings.  NOT HEALTHY.

I like writing and every morning when I come return to Mara House, where I am confined, not by coronavirus but by temp outside averaging 40 Celsius, I shower and sit at my laptop.  The cycle usually generates a subject to write about before I get home, and I write from the heart, usually without corrections as it just pours out.

My Social Media/Online Presence

So, I have my personal facebook profile, my Mara House Luxor facebook Page, Instagram, Twitter and Linkedin. I also currently have two active websites and anyone who wants to read what I write without interacting or connecting with me can tune into my writing on either of these.  The first is for and about Egypt and my business there  Mara House Luxor and the second is  Life is Just a Game  where I write my personal thoughts, mostly positive and designed to help or uplift people.  Now and again for stuff like this I want to say.

  • I like Instagram because it is mostly positive stuff there.
  • Twitter is where I get my news both from media and people on the ground that I respect around the world.  Mostly people because I don’t trust mainstream media or politicians AT ALL now.
  • Linkedin is like facebook for people in business and it’s very sound, practical and helpful for keeping abreast of business matters outside of what very often can be the media distortions, as quite a lot of the content is written by people in business about their industry sectors.  Going through all those could just eat up the hours of a person’s life.

Other Pruning I did on Facebook

My deletions were not the end of my actions on facebook.  I also went through the many great groups I am joined there.  I didn’t leave them, but I did turn off notifications from all of them,  Now, for example if I am doing a few hours on my family tree I can go and check out what has happened in my genealogy groups since my last visit.  And it saves me time scrolling past loads of  genealogy related posts in a time when I am not in a position to use that info anyway.

Final thought – “following” and “followers” on any social media

FOLLOWERS:  The trend out there is to think that having thousands or millions of followers is great, amazing, wonderful, a kind of signal to the world how loved or important you are.  Well, unless you are some famous celebrity, it’s probably not.  If you are not getting feedback from your followers then, to me, they are just silent stalkers.  And if, like me, you feel let down by their lack of response, it’s not mentally or emotionally healthy.

However, I think of followers on Instagram differently to followers on facebook simply because of the content people put on Instagram.  But the term used on Facebook is “friend” and friends don’t leave you hanging on a limb when you say something.  Contacts on Linkedin are just that – a network of business contacts you may or may not interact with, but that depends on their business, your business and non-reaction there is different.  We acknowledge a difference of industries, interests and how busy everyone is.

FOLLOWING:  If you are following more than 200 people on Instagram or Twitter – you can’t read everything that is posted in a day and if you do, then you are not living a life, you are living other people’s lives who may or may not be living the life they say they are.  What a waste of a life!  Pruning who I follow on Instagram and Twitter is my next time saving and mental health preservation activity – soon as I get the time 🙂

Who Do I Want to “Friend” on my personal Facebook profile?

  • Everyone who did not get deleted last night hahaha!
  • Family and neighbors
  • real friends, old and new that I personally know
  • people who have come to Mara House and we established a bond and keep in touch off and on through facebook.
  • there are some people I have not personally met but have had good conversations with either on messenger or outside of facebook.

If you are one of the real friends I unfriend last night with my fast finger action!!! and want to re-establish the connection send me friend request.

To My Friends Who Request Actions and I Don’t Oblige

For several reasons I never respond to any of the following

  • requests to post or copy/paste content to prove I read your post that did not have picture
  • request for any type of chain reaction similar to the above
  • posts requesting copy and paste to prove I am your friend or sympathise/empathize with those who have cancer etc.  If you ask me to copy and paste a post which focuses on recover, health, well-being I MIGHT copy and paste it because that is the opposite end of the usual focus on disease.
  • mostly I don’t comment on, share or respond to posts you make that are negative, fear engendering, rabble rousing or advocating action on behalf of the latest social or popular trend.

Why I Delete Some Comments on my Facebook Posts

I tend to delete your comments on my posts that set one section of society against another, and comments where the writer is in direct opposition to what I wrote AND is giving me an argument in their defense which I most likely am already well aware of.  I try for the most part to refrain from negative commentary on current events etc UNLESS I absolutely feel i have to and I have a solution to offer. I don’t allow fighting on my personal page.  My page is for my opinion.  If you agree, great – we have something in common.  If you don’t agree, go write on your own page and I won’t comment there.

In Conclusion – Be Aware of What Your Posts Say about You

We are all different biological ages, at different stages of awareness, learning, education and mental capabilities.  Recognize this when you decide to take someone up on their posts on their pages.  Recognize everyone has the right to have their own current opinion.  If you can’t change a person’s ideology with peaceful logic you are only going to entrench them by using anger, aggression, contempt or ridicule in your words.

What we say on social media says more than we are aware of.  We may be speaking up for a very good cause.  At the moment there is a HUGE outpouring from the white community on the issue of black lives matter.  BUT most are completely unaware of what can also be read into what they are posting, especially when it is followed up with support for pulling down statues, banning books and now we are checking images and labels on food.  Psychologists and public manipulators and profilers are having a field day with what people are revealing about themselves here.  A whole lot of shadow stuff and mirroring going on there.  Fascinating to watch but uncomfortably revealing and what it reveals most of all is … deep rooted fear and insecurity.

This should not be a black lives matter movement.  It should be people against police brutality movement which is what the sparking incident in this current situation was.   Sane, intelligent people are losing their reason at the moment.  Too much is going on around and fear is being expressed in actions of anger.  We feel it is ok to be angry for a “good or just cause”.  Well, if there is too much of that fear being transmuted into public anger… our neighborhoods and communities will go up in flames.  Fanning these flames from what is perceived to be a safe distance via social media is an illusion.

MUTE FOR 30 days

I do this now to friends who are continuously posting about the horrors or life or the injustices or extreme political views.  I am allowing these friends their opinion, not commenting and attacking them on their page and not unfriending them.

HOWEVER, reading these posts are bad for my mood and mental health so I choose not to see them or interact until my friends recover or regain their balance.

Perhaps I should be calling my posts “The Voice of Reason! Hahaha!

Against a Cashless Society & the Banks!

I am quite aware that some parts of this post may be interpreted by some readers as me being a conspiracy theorist.  I used to deny this but you know what?  I don’t think I can anymore.  Kinder readers may say “She has a vivid imagination”.  Ok, remember when we had no mobile phones and Star Trek was just a sci-fi programme?  Remember the novel “1984” ?  Go buy it quick because it is deleted now from Amazon kindle (censorship).  Oh and did you watch the film “Pandemic”?  Are we in a time when life is imitating art?  Nothing is impossible or even improbably anymore.   “Just because I’m paranoid doesn’t mean they are not after me”  who said that?

Just put yourself in any one of these situations with no cash and your bank debit or credit card/s are stolen, lost, declined or retained by ATM or shop employee.  Then consider how many days it is going to be before your new card is delivered to your HOME address.  Tough luck if you on holiday someplace like Egypt – no idea how you’ll get your new card.

  • in an airport en route to somewhere, even worse you have multiple flights, even worse than that you have one or more layovers lasting a couple of hours.  Make the situation worse, you miss a flight!   How you going to pay for another one if you have to?  You can’t buy food or drink.  You can’t use an airport phone.  You can’t top up your phone if you are on pre-pay if the credit runs out.  Your credit is likely to run out if the bank helpline puts you on automatic hold to listen to their usual irrelevant messages.  If your flights are short haul and there are no complimentary food or drinks…well, they will probably give you a glass of water but from the plane storage water not bottled.  This HAS happened to me.
  • you arrive at your destination – how do you pay for the transport to your hotel or home?
  • you arrive at your holiday destination – your card or a deposit is required to enable you to avail of room service.
  • It’s Friday night – you are in the supermarket and have filled your trolley with the weekly family shopping.  Arrive at the check out – no cash, cards won’t work….what you going to do?
  • you are in a shop, bar, restaurant, bus or train station, want to pay for your lunch, dinner, purchases, tickets – no cash, card won’t work.  What do you do?
  • you want to give a cash present to your child, grandchild whoever… in a cashless society you don’t have it
  • you see someone in need and want to give him/her cash…you can’t.

Trends over the years

  1. banks wanted us to start using credit cards so they offered us free insurance, airmiles, bonus points for hotels on the one hand and the idea that cards were safer and easier on the other hand…eventually a certain number obliged….credit card debt became common.
  2. then they introduced debit cards and employers were encouraged to pay wages into bank accounts instead of paying cash.  Well, now more people had to open bank accounts and take a debit card.  Of course, in time we started to use the card more.
  3. now, we have coronavirus and CASH IS DANGEROUS – don’t handle it.  Ok they may have a point there.

However, in between point 2 and point 3 the banks and the shareholders’ greed took a new turn and not one to benefit the larger community.  They started a progressive closing down of the counters in all banks and eventually the banks themselves.   Over time again, a huge saving to the banks and shareholders.

We went from the banks serving us to humanity being enslaved to the banks

The customer service is now a joke.

It is almost impossible to speak in person with a bank official.

95% of wages are paid direct from employer to the staff bank account.

Now they want to eliminate cash completely and we will have no way back.  The banks, government and whoever else has access will not only control our money but be able to track our every movement.

Best Surveillance System EVER!

Techies are busy coming up with solutions to my arguments above about the perils of being suddenly without a working bank card.  I don’t care what solutions they create.  I am still against a cashless society because it is the best EVER surveillance and control system.

You can see from your bank statement, if you are an avid card user that you could write a diary of where you have been at least 3 times every day for the past 3 days – down to the exact minute you make every purchase.

But it doesn’t stop at surveillance – it has wider implications and capabilities.  Your card could, at any time be used to curtail your movements.  Mind now I said “COULD” be used in the following ways against you

  • a spending limit can easily be imposed preventing you from purchasing a car – even if you have enough money lol!
  • a travel limit can be imposed – you could be stopped from purchasing airline, bus or train tickets.
  • in fact a cashless society could quickly convert your bank card into a card containing all your personal information and history and used against you in many ways.  Check out life in North Korea and think about this.  You would have to admit if this is already in place in one country and I think China are headed this way also?  Then you think with the right goverment in place it can’t happen to you?  https://www.libertyinnorthkorea.org/learn-nk-challenges/

The banks want us to send them an email rather than call them.  We will wait maybe 24 hours for a response and even then we can be given the wrong information (happened to me when I queried a transaction online via my online banking).

Their call centers are centralized and in some cases, overseas.  If we   have a problem, it is almost impossible to connect on the phone to a logical human being.  They make us lose the will to continue the call by forcing us to listen to a litany of services they offer but we don’t require before finally connecting us.  God help us if we can’t remember some parts of our pin or password because in that case they can’t talk to us at all.  What infuriates me about this part is they won’t even answer a generalized question.

Banks kept all perks relevant to themselves and took away our rights.

Banks introduced charges to cover

  • cash handling and cash deposits made to business accounts
  • charge business around 3% for processing our cards because we objected to charges for using cards…did we?  This was a nice move because we, the card users thought we were getting free banking.  But now the business owner has to factor that into his costs so we still pay for using the card – most people just don’t realize it.
  • account fees – for what service now?

The banks charge high interest rates and keep changing the parameters for giving loans.  They only give loans on favorable terms to themselves – ok they are in business but let us be up front about it and stop the slide into total slavery – keep our cash and say “no” to a cashless society.  Actually, it’s probably already too late.

So, while steadily stripping away all the services they ones offered and charged us for…they still keep taking the money for the services given in a cash society.

Pulling down statues & burning buildings

I started out with a few comments on facebook today.  Really I should probably have known better.  But for better or worse what follows is what started out as a comment to someone who responded to a post I put up.  My answer started to grow legs so I thought I might as well make it into a blog post altogether.   Here it is.

I feel your angst and I am not on one side or the other because I think if we are to survive what is going on globally and have our humanity survive we need to try to keep our balance.
As an outsider looking at the history of the American Civil War and from doing my family tree I can see I have family who fought for both sides.
I will just take you up on your words because words are important = they bring war or they bring peace.
You said the confederacy fought to own black people. Yes they did but was it not more than that?
Were they not fighting to keep their way of life also? That would be the reaction of every one of us suddenly faced with losing everything.
I repeat here now…I am not defending the confederacy – I am trying to understand the minds and hearts of people in those times, just as I try today to see all sides of stories and events.
Statues don’t just celebrate people, or one aspect of a person’s life. They are markers of time and history just as buildings are. As we go through the next 10 years should we trawl the world and take down every building that housed a person, or establishment who oppressed any particular section of society? If so, better start with the White House in Washington, the Kremlin in Moscow, the British Parliament, Tower of London, Buckingham Palace, Palace of Versailles…do I need to go on?
We criticise the Nazi and other regimes through history for burning books. When the  Now we are deleting George Orwell? We are allowing Facebook and YouTube to censor not only hate speech (which I agree with) but we are allowing censorship of opinions that disagree with government opinion = that may be fine if you are in government, but not so fine if you disagree with them or their actions. Who is in power may not be tomorrow.
Did you know (and it’s a bit spooky that it’s a within a few years of being 1000 year ago) that prior to the year 1070 AD the Caliph’s Library in Cairo contained between 1.6 and 2 million priceless books covering all the sciences? Did you know that wherever the Arabs found old manuscripts and books from around the world they copied them. Many of the books they copied no longer exists outside of the Arab world because of wars and book burnings.  And today we travel around the globe looking for ancient secret knowledge!  Funny that!
Anyway in 1070 there was what is called the Great Crisis in Egypt – economic disaster.  History tells us that the foreigners and slaves (note here slaves in the Arab world were more than a bit different to slaves in America – that’s another story) in 1070 raided the library – one account says 25 camels carried away books and priceless manuscripts to light fires in the Turkish officers’ houses.  The bindings of the books were used to make shoes for the feet of their slaves.  Just for the sake of it much of the books were taken outside and covered over with dirt – they became known as the book hills.
Should every statue in every museum of a dictator, king or queen be taken out and smashed to pieces?  Yes, according to some e.g. the Taliban.  Where do you stop?  You can’t stop a mob so that is one reason I am calling for calm and reason.  Right now you are pointing to slave owners,  well, following that line of thought next should come Capitol Hill and all other US government monuments because they all sanctioned the demise of the Native American Indians – you know all about that.
Then, let’s turn to the Australians and their historic treatment of the Aboriginals – lets not forget the treatment of the Irish prisoners transported there, not all dreadful criminals, no just poor starving people stealing chickens or eggs – oh and the Irish children sold off by the Irish Government.  That would bring us to the need to burn down Dublin Castle, The Four Courts, National Library and Dail Eireann.
You see – I could really go on forever and what are we left with then?  Let’s not forget the current buildings that house current injustice systems, beliefs and make laws that oppress – or fail to repeal old laws to bring equality of ALL.  That would be every police station, court house (look all the miscarriages of justice, the FBI building (their recent debacle under Alex whatever his name is of trying to hide the sex trafficker of minors – Jeffrey Epstein.  Well, God alone knows whose house should burn for that – yet, the offices of the CIA, every government building right across the United States of America and Europe.  Let’s face it.  We were not perfect then and we are not perfect now.
When we finish with all those – remember the French Revolution?  Well, that’s when the real fun begins.  That is when we start looking at each other, our family members who disagree with us, our neighbors who don’t conform to the “new norm”.  O.k gonna cut right to the chase here and give two quotes “whoever is without sin, let him cast the first stone” and “if they come for me in the morning, they will come for you in the evening“.  Time to wake up, recognise, acknowledge and ALLOW everyone else to have their own opinion and their own life choices. Stop trying to erase a history you don’t want to acknowledge – your ancestors lived those days – don’t negate their existence because without them you would not be here today.
If you think you (reader) are without sin then here are a few conscious prickers – we are guilty of injustice, cowardice and abuse as much by inaction as action:
  • have you ever passed a person in the street with his hand out asking for help (money) and not helped?
  • have you passed an injured animal or seen an animal being mistreated and done nothing?
  • have you ever suspected someone was being beaten or abused and stayed silent?
  • what have you done (forget about facebook and you clicking finger) anything concrete in the interests of promoting help or equality for lesbian, gay, transexual, transgender, autistic, mentally challenged, emigrant, substance abuse victims, sexual abuse victims, evicted families who can’t pay the rent or mortgage, kids expelled from school because the “don’t fit in”, GMO production, abuse in the production of poultry, fish, meat (remember ultimately we eat this, so technically these are crimes against humanity also).
  • Are you planting trees, sorting your rubbish properly, asking where your rubbish goes, asking where your food is coming from?
  • Have you ever written to or contacted your nearest local government rep to complain about an inequality or mistreatment of anyone?

I’m stopping there.  My point is we are ALL still making mistakes today, we are ALL guilty of not taking the right action.  And it remains to be see where current riots about distant and recent past events are going to end.  There is positive, healing and correct action.  There is destructive and damaging action and who knows how history will view that?

Let’s all just take a deep breath before advocating for the next piece of destruction and push other people’s buttons – other people who may not be able to ever stop the road they are now being pointed towards by our approval on social media or otherwise.  Words are the most powerful weapon on earth.

End of Lecture.

so learn how to play it!